In Character with Willie Halliburton

A conversation with an interesting Portlander

By peter korn

The Portland Tribune, Jul 29, 2010 (1 Reader comment)

CHRISTOPHER ONSTOTT / TRIBUNE PHOTO

Portland Police Officer Willie Halliburton has a knack for bringing a smile to kids, such as Damonie Campbell, 7, here at the Boys and Girls Club in Northeast Portland. Halliburton also performs comedy for grownups – occasionally even those he arrests.

If he wants to use it, stand up comedian Willie Halliburton has a great way to stifle would be hecklers. He carries a gun.

Well, not onstage. But Halliburton, a Portland police officer by day, can occasionally be found cracking people up, verbally, of course, at local comedy nightclubs and at corporate functions. And he’s not above performing his routine for perps.

Portland Tribune: How did you get into standup comedy?

Willie Halliburton: My senior year in high school there was an open mike comedy competition in the student union. The winner, as the funniest guy on campus, would get a trip to the Bahamas. But I didn’t have the guts to do it. For years, I said to myself if the opportunity ever arises again, I’m going to take it.

I came to Portland (10 years ago) and it took a little longer than I expected to get hired. I had four months of waiting. I was walking one night and I saw a sign, “Open mike comedy, winner gets $250.” We were needing rent money.

I walked onstage, told a few jokes, I don’t know where they came from, and I won the $250. I realized I’m kind of funny and I realized I needed to win again to make the rent. And I won again.

Tribune: Do you remember your favorite line from that first performance?

Halliburton: I talked about the Kansas State football team and how bad we were. One of the Oklahoma players said, “I can’t wait to score 100 points against you.” And I said, “You won’t get more than 99.”

Tribune: The final score?

Halliburton: 64-3.

Tribune: And you took that as a victory?

Halliburton: They didn’t score 100.

Tribune: There’s a question I’ve always wanted to ask a police officer. Is there something you guys do when you’re driving behind us to make us feel uncomfortable?

Halliburton: I feel it every time there’s a police officer behind me. I’m checking the ashtray for marijuana joints even though I don’t smoke.

Tribune: When you make a stop, do you get some good excuses?

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